Tuesday, 10 July 2018

The Importance of TRUTH and Honesty in a relationship


The Importance of TRUTH and Honesty in a relationship: “It is easy for people to believe and accept a FAT LIE, than a simple HONEST TRUTH. But one thing I have learned over time is that TRUTH and HONESTY are GOLDEN in their rewards, while LIES and DECEIT are DESTRUCTIVE in their rewards”. Henriette Thatcher


Relationships, whether carnal or platonic have suffered irreparable damages because of the issues of TRUTH and HONESTY.

Truth is most often used to mean being in accord with fact or reality, or fidelity to an original or standard.

Ephesians 4:25 tells us to ‘Stop telling lies. SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.” Looking at this verse we understand that because my partner is a part of me, I will have to be open to him/her and speak the TRUTH.

Meanwhile the Cambridge English Dictionary defines HONESTY as ‘telling the truth or able to be trusted and not likely to stealcheat, or lie’.

TRUTH and HONESTY goes together.

Being in a relationship is just like having that child-like feeling, that the mother or father cannot lie to him/her. Children rely entirely on every word or promise their parents make. They are totally dependent on that safe and sure foundation of the truth that because my father/mother loves me, they cannot lie to me.

Every relationship MUST be built on a solid foundation, and that foundation is nothing but TRUTH and HONESTY.

It is difficult for MOST of us to speak the TRUTH, especially when we find/found ourselves in humiliating situations. When we are afraid to be discovered of a wrong we did, or tongues are heavy to speak the TRUTH, but swift to tell lies.

The more lies we tell, the deeper we sink into the mud, and before we realize it, we are at the bottom of the pit. Now, climbing back to the surface of reality of TRUTH, where people will start believing us will not be easy, because deep in that pit of lies, we are already covered with the mud of shame and no one will like to rub his or herself with mud. Very few and genuine Godly souls will help us out the mess we put ourselves in to with lies.

So we have to struggle out of that muddy pit, and even while we are struggling to get out, some people heap more dirt on you, and you will see that the time and effort we put to come out of that muddy place will be more painful and costly, where as simple TRUTH would have saved us from sinking deep in the mud.


MOST people find it difficult to cope in a relationship that was built on lies. Remember the sugar coated words that a man used to lure the woman to his charms: ‘Oh baby, I am the son Fotso Victor. I run my father's businesses; I fly out of the country 10 times a month. I have this, I have that'. The woman falls, believing to have a marriage of bed of roses with you, only to discover later that you are nobody. You cannot even put food twice on the table daily. You have never crossed Mile 17, worse of all; you were riding in your friend's big car when you told her all those blablablas etc... She will feel disappointed and walk away, and no matter how much you try to win her back, things will never be the same again.



Same thing with a lady, who meets a genuine man, who needs nothing but the simple and rotten you that you were or are, to transform you to his dream partner. Instead of telling the man that 'honey you see, when I was growing up, I made some 1, 2, 3 or even 10 rough paths, got pregnant and had two children in the process, or that I had an innocent chronic abortion that destroyed my womb' . You will lie.


 It will be left for the man to accept you with the two children or not. It will be left for him to decide to accept you with or without a womb. After all, who has never made mistakes?.

You will take your own born children, give them to a relative to hide for you, lie to the man who might be genuinely in love with you and your nasty past that you have no kid, only for him to discover through other people, that you have not 1, but 2 children, and hid the truth from him. Tell me sister, how do you expect him to trust even the food you cook for him? He will be like: 'What else is she hiding?' And even if the love he has for you is strong enough not to make him kick you out of his life, it will be very difficult for him to trust even your 'good morning baby' again. Then you find yourself in that miry pit, where you must struggle to get yourself out unharmed, before cleaning up, and making up, which might have caused your happiness.


Most of us, including this writer, have hurt and destroyed our relationships with lies and deceits, and have seen the worst consequences of it, and that is why, I will personally never stop from preaching against LIES TELLING.

Lies leads to destruction.


It is better to tell a poignant TRUTH, that will be accepted or rejected, but which will keep your head high up for life, than to tell a honey spiced lie to please someone, and which MUST certainly backfire someday.

An honest life is important on so many levels from relationships with spouses and children, at our workplace, and interacting with our neighbors. Matthew 7:16 tells us that we are known by our fruit. Let us be examples of a God of truth and live by living lives of integrity and truthfulness.


If we build our relationship on TRUTH and HONESTY, we would see the beauty of being together.


What is that TRUTH you are hiding from your partner? What is that TRUTH that you transformed into a lie and continue to believe in a lie that it will never be uncovered? Tell your partner before it is too late. Tell him/her and beg for forgiveness.


Life is better when we keep it TRUTHFUL and HONEST. Don't use all the foundation powders in the world to cover the many pimples you have on your face and deceive people with on Social media, because when you get what you want, the pimples will be uncovered from the foundation, and the reason for your hiding it will be discovered and attributed to the real person you are.


Better late than never. No one is a Saint. But if we learn to tell the TRUTH and be HONEST, it will make us not only BETTER children of God our Creator, but better men and women in the society, from our homes to our work plces and the world at large.


I used to lie when I was ignorant. But when I discovered the harm I caused myself by lying; when I discovered the beautiful relationships in my life I destroyed by lies telling; When I saw how had I hurt others with my lies; I couldn't forgive myself. But when I told God I was sorry and he accepted my apology from His Most Compassionate Heart, I did my best to start valuing every word I speak, and it has helped reshaped my life in a BLISSFUL way.


It is easy for people to believe and accept a FAT LIE, than an HONEST TRUTH. But one thing I have learned over time is that TRUTH and HONESTY are GOLDEN in their rewards, while LIES and DECEIT are DESTRUCTIVE in their rewards”. Henriette Thatcher

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