Tuesday, 15 May 2018

The Reason I am Single But Happy - Part Fourteen



I gathered courage to face the public when I returned from Nigeria. It was not really easy, but God saw me through.

I was convinced that if my healing did not happen, at least, the prophecy about the man in my life MUST surely come to pass.

Desire's father died, and for some reason he refused to attend the funeral. He hated his dad with passion. According to him, his father was the most irresponsible man that ever existed.

He was working with the then Cameroon Airlines as a chief security from the military. For his every trip, he went with a different lady, abandoned his wife and kids, and at one point, he decided to anticipate his retirement.

He collected the millions they paid him, and made a home with another lady, who lured him into buying a house. The  smart lady made him invest all his money on her, and when she had emptied him, she sent him packing. Apparently she was from a renowned intimidating family, so he could not fight back.

He became useless. He could not go back to his wife and kids that he had abandoned for long. He started prostituting like a woman, and led the most crazy life.

When his wife(Desire's) mother died, he was asked to come and bury her. Her body was in the village at Baboate  in Bafang. 

He came and ended in a hotel in Bafang, and sent words to the village that the woman he slept with at the hotel stole the 300 000F CFA he was bringing to bury his wife, and that he did not even have transport to come down to the village.

His wife was buried by his brother Pa Gerard, and that made his children especially Desire hated and avoided even his funeral.

He died in a slum in Yaounde, and I begged Desire to come for the funeral but he refused. The woman he had at that time was the one contacting his children. She said he died in his sleep without any fever.

I am blessed with good organizing and people management skills, and was able to convince three of his children to calm down and bury their father. The family was never in harmony until I came in, and when I did, I used everything in me to make peace reign, and I thank God I succeeded.

Desire deliberately refused to send me money through out that period, because he did not want his father to taste his one franc even in death.

All his three sisters were married, but none was dowried, and I told them it was the best time for the son in-laws to show their last respect to the father of their wives, but the daughters did not even want to hear anything about that. They said their father will not eat anything from them in the form of dowry even in death, and that their husbands will not even attend.

I talked them into reasoning and they accepted to bury their father, but said they didn't have money. 

One of the sisters refused to associate in the peace equip that I was heading, and took the side of her brother Desire that their father's body be thrown to dogs to feed on.

The remaining two married sisters and their husbands and the other brother accepted that we shall jointly bury papa in his Baboate hometown.

They were each complaining of money and so I told them to buy the coffin, and handle the traditional rites that needed to be done in the village, before burying a man who refused to bury his wife, and who did not participate in any community project or contributions.

I paid for the mortuary for close to two weeks that he was there, dressed the body and hired a 30 seater coaster bus to transport sympathisers and the body to Bafang.

I hired my choir, paid for the reception both at the wake keep and after burial. 

A relative who accompanied me, preached at the funeral in the village in English, while I translated into French, and my chorister friends animated. Surprisingly, the wake service  we organised was heavily attended, contrary to our thoughts that since he did not attend other people's misfortunes, no one will attend his. The organists that went with us did a great job. The people in Baboate village danced till 6 a.m, when they rushed to clean up and get ready for the burial.

After the burial, everyone ate to his/her satisfaction, and the traditional  ruler invited me to his palace to thank and bless me for the brave act of bringing the body of his prodigal subject back home. He said he was to appreciate me in the presence of my would be husband Desire, whenever he came into the country.

After the burial, I spent another two days in the village with the twin girls, so that what ever tradition that needed to be done on their father, should be done to avoid future consequences as the myth in their region goes.

News of the successful burial of his father reached him in Asia, and Desire regretted the many time I begged him to forgive his father's corpse and he refused. He regretted not attending his funeral to say 'farewell, I forgive you'. He promised to make it up to me, and told me on phone that for that selfless sacrifice I made in his honour and that of his family, he will be eternally indebted to me.

His sister who refused to attend the funeral visited me, not to thank or appreciate me, but to warn me that her brother was not the golden boy I see, and that I am a very nice person to be used and dumped.

I couldn't believe what my ears heard. I mean his direct follower telling me that the brother is a 419, and that he will dupe and dump me. She said she usually do not warn his other girlfriends, because they were not as engaged and caring as I was. She even asked me to tell her other siblings that she has told me truth.

She did not mention anything about the funeral, but instead begged me to prepare her garri and okro during the weekend and bring to her. That lady was the only real person in that family.

It took me time to digest what she told me. I was scared, I looked at her as monster. How on earth can someone discredit her brother in front of the woman he intends to get married to. I told myself she was jealoused. She had always distant herself from brothers and sisters. They said she was proud because she was rich, and that is why she doesn't ever encourage anyone who is close to prosperity.

I invited their elder sister, and she came immediately. For some reasons, she always answered present whenever I called. We spoke about the successful funeral of their father, and she told me how God has answered their family prayers by giving them a wife like me. 

She said if she could advice me, she would wish that I and  her brother should legalize signed our marriage, while waiting for my father's 2 years observation period  to end. 

I watched her talked, without her noticing the questions running up in my mind. Then I cut her short and asked 'Marcelline, tell me everything about Desire'. She said 'is he no your husband?. One thing I know he loves you like he had never loved any other woman before'. She sang a whole litany of her brother's love for me , and said she is happy because she regularly gets to see her brother now, because of me.

I asked her to tell me about his past dates, but she told me she knew only Melanie the mother of he twins, and that the other girls were just his ride and past, as he never officially introduced them to the family like he did to me.

I told her what her sister told me, and she said she knew it, that Laurette would come with a cook up story to discourage me from continuing with their family, because she is a joy killer and a spoiler. She told me her sister was the selfish type, reason why they hate associating with her. She wants to be the only one in the family to command respect, and ever since I came into their family, they enjoy love and care from their brother something that never happened before. She was able to convince me and left.

Two days later, she, her husband, the junior brother and his wife, the kid sister and the husband visited me. They said they came as a family to appreciate me for uniting their family. They said everyone was talking about how well I was taking care of twins, and that I shouldn't be discouraged with what Laurette said. She is this or that and that I should avoid her company because she was bad influence.

After that meeting, I felt comforted, I became careful with the way I dealt with Laurette, even though I couldn't still hate her. She kept telling me the same thing over and over again, and even told my kid brother to caution me, that her brother will ruin my life, which he truly did.

Desire came into the country few weeks later, with all the goodies to crown me his queen. And then he hatched his carefully planned act, that you will read in the next chapter.


Lesson

Today's lesson goes to parents especially fathers, who make homes left and right. A man's worth or strength is not measured by the number of women he has left and right, or the number of homes he makes with different women. A man's worth is measured by the sacrifice and love he makes for his wife and children, because on your dying bed, they will close your eyes, bid you farewell into eternity, as the angels welcome you from above.

Fathers have become so irresponsible, to the point that their children go astray for lack of fatherly love and care. They get involved in many wrong things, and when they fail to grow up responsibly society will say: 'Like father like son'.

What will you tell God when you die? That you were busily making babies out of wedlock and abandoning them to their poor mothers? That you busily breaking women's heart left and right?. That you failed to give your children their desired future? No papas  change.

It is time we women stand up as one, to fight irresponsible fathers and men.

We continue tomorrow people. Goodnight

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