Monday, 22 January 2018

'I Knew He Was Married, But Fell For Him, Thinking He Would Leave Her For Me' A Lady Confesses To HTL - A must read for ladies who think beauty and wealth can make men leave their wives for them

Thatcher

Dear Thatcher,

I have been following the 'love scam' scandal involving Cameroonian actor Frank Sire and his side chick Sandra Bih in the US. It is true that what Frank did is TOTALLY wrong and unforgiving, but Sandra knew he was already married, and decided to invest in him, as is my case.


I am sharing my story through your blog, not because I am blaming the victim, but because  some of us ladies get involved in unorthodox relationships with married men we know will NEVER work, but still ventures, dreaming they will leave their wives for us, either because we look more attractive than the ones at home, or because we are financially loaded than they are, which at the end of the day, never works in our favour. We get hurt. We expose the guy, and use all sorts of wrong labels and tags on him, but forget to blame ourselves for forcing our ways into their lives, and wanting to inflict pains on another woman.

My name is Sheila a forty years old Cameroonian single mother based in the US. I met this very hunky guy I will call Prince, in his early forties, when I came to Cameroon for the Christmas holidays in 2012. He works with one of the local banks in Cameroon till date, and has a moderate standard of living, with his wife who is a tailor with their seven years old son.

Prince and I met at White House Restaurant Bonamoussadi, where he came to have lunch with one of his friends. I parked my jeep at the front of the restaurant, and was so gorgeously stunning in one of my hot outfits that turned heads as I walked passed. Everything about me was stunning, except the hidden pain in my heart. 

I pulled a chair from the table next to where Prince and his friend were sitting, ordered a plat of roasted chicken and crushed fried unripe plantains over a bottle of very expensive wine.

I had just broke up with my man in the US, and the pains of this separation was still fresh in my heart, with the effects visible on my face, as from time to time, I shed tears of regret unconsciously no matter where I was.

While waiting for my my order to be served, I got carried away with memories of  of my failed romance with my ex, wishing I could turn back the hands of time, but it was TOO late. I remembered the many times he called to check if I was ok, and I took it for over care. I remembered the many times he wanted home cooked meal, and I served him junk food from Fast food joints. I remembered the many times he offered me $10 t-shirts, and I simplified them saying I wanted designer cloths. I remembered the many times he gave me $50 for gas, and I under-looked his love and care, because I thought it was small. I remembered the many times he wanted me to stay over in his place, but I rejected his offer saying his space was too small  and uncomfortable for me.  I remembered cancelling outings with him because he was not presentable enough to match my beauty.

Because of my excesses and pride, I lost him to a more decent woman who had more than I had, but who valued and appreciated the low man in him. When loneliness came knocking and my money and pride could not give me the company I needed, Iwent begging.  I did everything I could to prove I was sorry and willing to submit to his level, but it was too late. A better woman was already in his life. I even begged I would  accept being a side chick to him, or even take the second place in his life, but he was one person with  genuinely great qualities, and cheating was never part of him.

You may also like to read: Frank Sire's wife reacts to husband's 'love scam' allegation with the hashtag #Istandwith myhusband

So I came to Cameroon for holidays, hoping to mend my broken heart before I return to the US. All these thoughts weighed my heart down, and tears of regret dripped from my eyes down my cheeks without me knowing in the open space of the restaurant, probably with every one starring at me.

Someone offered me a tissue, and like the day-dreamer I was, I woke up from my sleep of regret, and before I could return to normal, my table neighbours were all round me, trying to console and inquire if I was fine. I took the tissue from Prince as he struggled to dry up my wet cheeks. He transferred his plate of food and drink to my table, and tried to engage me in a conversation that I felt uncomfortable with, but which I pretended to enjoy, just to forge a smile on my tears swollen face.

We exchanged numbers after lunch, and that same evening, he came to the hotel I was staying to check on me. 

We became friends, and one thing led to the other, then suddenly, I found him on top of me, which I admit was pleasantly welcomed. We break all laws and boundaries, and went away from this world and all its wahalas, into an unending journey of pleasure in the blues, only to return back from the sweetness to discover we had had sex without any of us asking for. 'It was good though, and I miss him for that especially.'

We grew fond of each other, and shared our life stories. We were so compatible that he told me no woman had ever made him feel this good but me for as long as he could remember. He said the tailor he married at home was no match to his profile and status as a banker in the society, and that their son was the only bound between them, since he had lost bed interest in her.

One week before I left Cameroon, Prince told me he was engaging a divorce procedure with his wife so that I can have him all to myself. Honestly, it was a sweet piece of news for my lonely heart, but I failed to ask if they had been having unresolved issues before I came into the picture, or whether he saw the best in me enough to dump his baby mama. They were legally married, but not in church. This too gave me the assurance to dream the future with him.

He also used their tribal differences to paint the picture of a dangling irreparable bridge between them, since he is a Prince in one of the fondoms in the North West Region. He said his family had never been is support to their marriage, because she is a Bakweri girl. He convinced me that I was a better choice for him, since our villages in the North West Region share boundaries, and that I was the ideal woman who suit his societal status and person. 

I travelled back to the US late January 2013, and in March, he travelled  to the US for his own holidays. We spent the moment of our lives together. I felt so safe and comfortable in his arms, and swore to use the me in me and everything that made me to keep him to my selfish self. He told me he had already initiated the divorce procedure , and from the look of things, it would drain him financially. I supported him with $10 000 (five million francs) for it to go fast and smooth, as he left the US back home leaving me with high hopes of a brighter tomorrow together.

Back home, Prince had a very small Toyota Corolla, and I asked him to take the car I was using, which was a car I brought into the country to sell for not less than 15 million francs. We made all administrative procedures and the car went to his name.

That same year, I came to Cameroon again, and his divorce procedure was still in process as he told me. I had no reason to doubt him. I likened him to my God, and never thought of doubting him for a second.

He was available for me 24/7. He took me to places, made me dream rose and never gave a cause to doubt his genuineness.

There was a land opportunity in Bonaberi, which he told me was a golden opportunity, moreover the proposal made me trust him the more, because it was always 'us' not him, whenever he wanted something. I gave him 10 million francs to acquire it for us in his name, before I travelled back

While in the US, I discovered I was pregnant. I was so happy that I rang him late at night to announce the good news, and behold his tailor wife picked up the phone and said 'hello'. I took it calmly and told her I wanted to talk with Prince. She inquired to know who I was, and I told her I was calling from them the US.

"Is it Sheila his business partner in the US?" She qestioned further. My heart sank into my tummy, as butterflies opened and close up within me."Yes I am Sheila" I answered calmly, but with tons of jealousy and hatred for her. I heard her trying to wake him up' " Baby, baby, wake up.  Aunty Sheila is on the line," but he answered inside deep sleep "tell her I will call her later". 

You can imagine how I quickly dropped the phone, and how premature contraction gripped me. I called my Doctor, and thank God, after examination she said I was fine and just needed some rest. The next day, Prince did not call. I guess he was thinking of what he would tell me. tthe second day, I rang him twice, but no answer, and the next time he answered and told me " I am in a meeting will call you back". I was hurt to the marrow. I cried hard, but  refused to see and understand realities.

Then he finally returned my calls with a well cooked-up story of how he had lied to his wife that I was his business partner, because if she found out he had an extra marital affair, the court would be against him. He managed to convince me, and I became the fool I was again.

Prince was earning almost 500 000F CFA monthly, but that did not stop me from giving him as much money as I could to support him especially because he was already building the house on the land I bought gave. Upgraded his wardrobe with designer suits and shoes. I bought sophisticated building materials from the US, shipped them to him, and in less than no time the house was up, and he, his wife and kids are already enjoying my sweat as I write.

I broke the news of the pregnancy to him, and all hell break loose. He said he was not expecting me to fall pregnant that easily, and that I should  abort the pregnancy, because of the divorce case. I asked who will tell the court that he had impregnated a lady who was in the US, and he said nothing is hidden under the sun. He barked that he was not ready for the news, and that I should give him time to digest it.

For two weeks, we did not communicate. Then he finally called to apologize that he was dealing with another situation at home, where his tailor wife was also pregnant.... bla bla bla, bling blong bling etc... I felt as if a knife had pierced my heart, as he said he didn't know how it all happened, but that he was not holding back the divorce process, and professed his undying love for me again. He asked me for two million F CFA which I sent, but that was when I also sent someone to monitor and spy him for me.

My informant informed me that Prince's wife had just put to birth. There was no divorce process anywhere , and their wedding was also being read at the St. Joseph the Worker's Catholic church Ndobo Bonaberi, with an upcoming church wedding making vibes.

When I confronted Prince about everything I had heard, he told me the situation was too complicated, and that if it is my money that am crying, we should see a lawyer so that he makes a payment plan. He advice I remain in the US, until he decides on what move to make.

Months past and the thoughts of everything about Prince sent me in to  premature labour, where I delivered my little Princess, who today is everything I have.




That was it. I lost him, lost everything I invested in him. I only had my foolish self to blame. I was back to square one., with fractions of my heart and finances to be mended.

He never called back, even after I named the child after him, but it was all my fault. I knew he had a woman at home with a son. I knew he was legally married. But because I thought a banker as handsome as Prince deserved a more refined woman like me, than the tailor wife he had at home, I came in-between them. I used my beauty, my wealth to try to tear them apart.

You know what? I failed woefully. I failed and messed up terribly. I fucked up. I am the loser. I feel like screaming in anger, but for my baby Princess, I am sure I would have committed suicide.

Sis, I am sure Sandra knew Frank was married, and just like me, used her pains, beauty and wealth to lure him to bed and decorate her side. 

But then like Prince, Frank came back to his senses and ran back home to his wife. And now Sandra's revenge is to get back at him on social media. She knew he was not single, but took advantage of the fact that he needed her money, and thought that was a guarantee for marriage. VERY WRONG

Who do we blame?

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