Sunday, 13 March 2016

Polygamy, CREED or GREED? - Part One

Polygamy is defined as an official marriage between one man and many wives, usually up to fifty.
Polygamy is practiced mainly in North and West Africa, the Middle East, Central Asia and Southeast Asia. Men with more than one wife are likely to be older, and to earn more. But in reality, their earnings are of little significance and there are some who can barely  make a monthly income of 100.000F CFA(200$). 
In the modern society, children from polygamous homes are found lacking as they live the consequences of it all their lives. They do not get the opportunity of participating in development, as 75% of them do not have the privileges to go to school, because their parents cannot afford their basic educational needs. 

Some of them, born in remote villages, grow up there, with no prospect of wanting to embrace the real world. Some even inherit their parent’s cultural seats and never get the opportunity of seeing the world outside their villages.
A closer look at the society reveals that countries with a high percentage rate of polygamy, are slow in development. If we take a closer day to day approach on our immediate environment we will be able to analyse two categories of people in our case study.

The  poor village man who marries many wives because of his CREED that more wives means more children and more titles in the village. Most of them live on farming and mean resources, and each woman in most cases must work very hard to fend for herself and children. The man’s job is to go to the farm, bring food home; (that is if only he is hardworking), and at night have sex with the wife he desires that day.
He rotates from room to room, on weekly or bi-weekly basis, and has the right to have other open relationships with any woman of his choice. At the end of the day, he has 30++ children and wives under his name.

Each woman will coach her children against the other woman’s children and so enmity becomes the order of the day, and some even kill mystically.

What happens when he dies? When he dies, the burden of his children and widows falls back on either his brothers or eldest children, who on their own part are struggling to make ends meet with their own families. 

Reality proves that, 95% of children from polygamous homes fight with their half brothers and sisters for their entire lives because of unlimited resources left by their late father. There is unnecessary jealousy and hatred, and such children hardly progress. 

The 5% exception of children from such homes who live harmoniously, are either for some Godly reasons, or that their father organised his home when he was alive.

The second case of  men who marry many wives because they are famously wealthy. These men act out of GREED, on both sides. 

Other men indulge in polygamy, because of the increase in their bank accounts. A man of 80 years, will have a 1st wife of 75 years, and a 6th and 7th wives of both 18 – 30 years. 

Imagine parents who give away their young daughters to these very old rich men for marriage and the man himself, who uses his financial strength to lure younger girls into marrying him.
For some parents, it is a pride to give away their inexperienced daughters to such heavy wallet men, so as to wear the honoured medal of the father in-law to so, so and so billionaire. Blinded by poverty, they fail to look at the future of such marriages, and are limited to the contentment of their returns.

The indisputable truth is that these young girls and women married to such moguls are financially comfortable, and nearly all of them ride the best automobile machines around town, and live in the most luxurious bungalows of their choice. They are flattered by the amount of wealth around them, the societal prestige and position given to them as spouses of the movers and shakers of the society and do not even think of whether what they are doing is right or wrong.

Facts about polygamous marriages are:
  • Most polygamous men die prematurely, as some use Viagra and other sexual stimulators to satisfy the sexual libido of their vibrant  younger partners, and  die in the act.  
  • Most of these rich men die because they catch discover their young wives are having sex with other younger men and have heart attack
  •  75% of the children do not even belong to them
  • The infidelity rate is 99.9999%.
  •  65% of polygamous men die before their time because of pressure from their different wives
  • Domestic violence are more common in polygamous homes
Recently a prominent mogul in one of Africa’s biggest country died of heart attack, when he discovered that his beloved 20th wife was sleeping with his own body guard. Leaving 21 wives and 68 children to mourn him, he left a will with strict instructions as to the distribution of his wealth in cash and kind among all his children. His instructions were clear and wise. 

I recognise all the children in my household as mine, but for any of them to benefit from my inheritance, they must go through a DNA test"

10 out of the 68 children tested positive,and coincidentally, the children who tested positive were those of the first two wives he married in his youth. The remaining 58 who were DNA negative were from people who helped him with his wives while he was struggling to gain a name for himself.

The more wives a man has, the greater his risk of heart disease. The first major study of the health risks of a polygamous man, finds that men with multiple wives have four times the risk of heart diseases. Researchers say the study suggested that the stress of running multiple households and the “emotional expenses” of polygamy could place strain on the heart.
Also, the phenomenon of co-wives also undermines the well-being of women. The senior wives worry that they will be replaced by the younger wives, and the younger wives in turn worry about power exerted in the home by the senior wives, and so each woman tries to get any means diabolical or genuine to secure for herself and her children.

Research also reveals that levels of domestic strife and violence are higher in polygamous homes as wives seek to preserve their places while sharing their husband as well as struggles to secure resources for their own children.

The desire of wanting to own all the women in the world by some rich men, have stirred a debate among men themselves, who  say such men act out of GREED.

Men, where do you belong? Do you marry many wives because of your CREEDO or because you are GREEDY?

To conclude this first part, I will say polygamy is a personal decision. Most traditions are coming out of darkness into light, thus abolishing the OLD CREED that a polygamist is a potential wealthy man.

In Part Two, we shall be case studying practical examples

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